i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
im holly from the hills drunk
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
