If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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