Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Randomize
