If i come over, it means nothing
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
