i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
