he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
