I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
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