We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
