We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
