College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
She bit a glass in half.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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