Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
