Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Did you just see the Batmobile???
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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