i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
