She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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