Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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