It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Randomize
