Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize
