Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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