found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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