I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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