Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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