He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
