you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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