I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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