I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
you will always have a special place in my vag
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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