I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize