Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
