Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
