Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
