Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Holy sore nipples Batman
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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