I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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