i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
