if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Life is so much better after having sex.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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