so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
What changed your mind?
Being sober
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
