You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
