who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
In other news, I just burned my penis
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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