Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
