That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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