you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
