i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
