I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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