if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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