OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Randomize
