actually, I'm a sock model
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
