so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Randomize
