Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
