So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
