Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
