He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize