i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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