She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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