You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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