the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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