Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
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