Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
