Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
