Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
