1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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