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TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
