Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
her facebook's as public as her vagina
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
