I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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