you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize