Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
All the doctor said was why
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
