You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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