i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize