I am full of burrito and curiosity
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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