i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize