I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
