What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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