I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
The feeling are messing with the penis
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
